If the oil in the header tank is black, odds are the oil cooler has failed. Diagnosing a 'blown' head gasket or cracked head is a little more difficult as it depends exactly where the damage is...If its between a combustion chamber and the coolant chances are it will pressurise the coolant header tank with ensuing water loss....If the damage is between an oilway and the coolant, oil will be forced into the coolant and depending how bad the damage is it may allow coolant to leak back into the oil when the engine is not running, this will give a creamy deposit on the oil filler cap and eventually lead to the engine oil being contaminated and turning a little like thick brown cream. A cracked head can also give similar symptoms but usually results in pressurisation and constant water loss.
The coolant system pressure is around 10-12psi whilst the oil pressure will average around 35-40psi so it is unlikely that the coolant would be able to overcome the pressure differential except when the engine is not running.
There are of course a myriad of examples that will contradict these basic diagnostics but on average the most likely is the one that is the most common.
And no you can't use a secondhand head gasket!
Benny
April 2016