How do I fix VW Golf central locking and electric windows?

VW GOLF 1.9 TDI (51 plate)

When cleaning the interior of my Golf, in order to stop itself locking automatically and setting the alarm off, I pressed the locking button (key symbol) on the drivers door a couple of times.

Then when I later tried to lock the doors with the key fob, the light on the key fob flashed but the doors wouldn't lock. I tried pressing the button on the drivers door again to reverse what I had done earlier, but it didn't resolve the problem.

Now when I turn the engine on, the onboard computer tells me that all doors are open at all times and the electric windows won't work either!

What have I done and how do i fix it?!