Its difficult to diagnose the problem as you dont mention the make and model of car. Most cars now have much more complicated electrical setups so the days of just running the towbar cable straight up to the rear lights are almost gone. It is possible that a seven way relay may need to be fitted in your vehicle and this is not really a DIY job. I would suggest that you contact your nearest towbar centre and ask for their advice.
Glen.
August 2009